Life has been interesting…Its taken me several days to write about what I am about to post. I had to get rid of the sadness and disappointment before I could write about this in a factual unemotional way so I don’t rant because that serves no purpose when its purely emotional. Onto my post. I was forced to leave the contest I was preparing 6 months for. I felt my integrity would be compromised and I could not in good and fair conscience move forward. I received a phone call from someone who was in charge of things and insinuated that I was getting a great prize package and being sent to several places to represent the title. I hadn’t won so why was I being told this? I was then told that there were 3 judges at IML that were from the Conference WHEN I won and went on to IML…again, it truly upset me. I struggled for almost 2 weeks with this information. This past week was the straw that broke the camels back. Another contestant, who I was told would NOT be running for another separate title was being allowed to run for THAT title, AND then run for this title that I was running for, 3 weeks later WHILE being a producer for several OTHER contests and events. HOW can a producer for several OTHER contests run for a title while promoting HIS own contests at THIS event? Talk about sleeping with your brother? The whole thing smelled and upon speaking to a title holder who has won several titles and who gave me her support, and that of my boy who was also a title holder, I made the decision to drop out. When I wrote my letter to someone else in charge, I was told and I quote, ” I am not making excuses for what so and so said BUT….right there, you ARE making excuses for him. I NEVER got an apology for the actions of this person who called me up and I knew then that I had made the right decision. I will run for something but THIS time I will check out EVERYTHING before I give my GOOD name to ANY event in the leather community. It is disgusting that things have gotten to this point with contests but if that’s the way it is, I have to adjust or NEVER decide to run again…I have a voice, I have the ability to give and to work for my community and the where with all to make change…and one way or another I will accomplish that. I am a FIRM believer in the Power Of One.
On to another note. My boy moved in with me Jan 21 and I got to spend my birthday with him on the 24th. I am tearing my home down due to termite infestation and the fact that my house is old and I want to update it to new hurricane codes. The next several months will be indeed interesting…but I guess if I can go through what I just did, knocking a house down will be easy. At least with that I will see the benefit. With what I just did I feel like crap even though I know in my heart I did what I felt was right and I don’t think a damn thing will be done about it… Sigh. Am not sure anymore about this community. It’s certainly not mine because this isn’t what I was taught the leather community to be. Isn’t it better to have one GOOD contestant than a bunch of bodies just to say there are a lot of contestants and to look good to the audience? You answer that!