I have been hearing a lot about collaring lately. We have the following for your amusement and enjoyment:

1. Engagement collar    (I don’t know what the hell this is or means!!)

2. Collar of Intention     (Intention for a REAL collar so you put on a fake one?)

3. Collar of Protection   (Protection from who or what, the boogie man?)

4. Training Collar           (You need a collar to be trained? What are you, a seal?)

5 Weekend Collar          (A weekend collar to make you feel better about not REALLY being wanted for more than 2 days?)

6. Permanent Collar      (Ah Yes, the EARNED collar! Finally one that makes sense!)


I don’t believe from the stories I have been told (in NYC),during the time before me, that the gay soldiers who came home from WW2 and formed their motorcycle/leather groups had SIX different stages of collars. IF you can tell me that these existed then please cite your source..because I can cite mine!

When a biker/leatherguy who tended to be more dominant wanted someone as his, he threw a collar around his buds neck with his buddies watching on and sometimes he just did it on his own. P E R I O D! By the time I came along it was more of a significant occasion where the friends got together and a small private ( I wont use the word ceremony) event happened. There was only one collar, the permanent (#6) one, the meaningful one making me his boy. No weekend (#5) was given to me because I was wanted for more than 2 days. Training ( #4) was done all along, not for a specified period of time and I was with him so no protection (3) was needed and he made his intentions (#2) clear to me and again WTF is the engagement (#1) collar?

This brings us to TODAY…and ALL i can say is WTF is THIS all about? Do you move from collar to collar or do you eventually wear all six because they were given TO you?

You want to make up all this shit because you *think* this is what the history was and you want to make the boy think you are a wealth of historical knowledge on the subject…SURPRISE…YOU’RE NOT!! These “collars” for whatever intent and purpose were fabricated off the cuff like the collars today are off the rack. Do I know EVERYTHING? NO and I NEVER claimed to and I NEVER WILL KNOW EVERYTHING, but after almost 40 years in this lifestyle, I have NEVER ever heard of these names other than to impress the boy who knows little to NOTHING!

The majority of guys don’t even know what the permanent collar signifies so they give them out like souvenirs. You want a souvenir, go to the Empire State Building and BUY ONE!! I remember one year at MAL this guy, who already had a boyfriend came in with and I kid you not, 10 collars calling them weekend collars for the boys he thought were hot. He proceeded to tell me that these jerks will believe anything if you get dressed up in leather drag..He was right. It worked and he gave out the majority of these 10 collars that he bought…I am sure that whenever I saw him trying to put one on a guy after 10 minutes that I got to the boy and gave him a quick lesson in what a collar means..He ended up shoving those collars up his ass because I wouldn’t let him use those young guys who knew no better. I see this all the time. HOWEVER you get these smooth talking guys who look the part of Daddy but who don’t know jack shit about anything and can sell an Eskimo snow and the boy is SO enamored with a guy he really doesn’t know that he ends up blindly believing the crap that comes out of the “daddy’s” mouth. Then you get the young “Dom” ones (I don’t refer to a 25 yr old as a SIR and DEFINITELY not a Master) who dates young guys who know nothing and again they throw collars around like they’re playing horse shoes. This alone tells you that these guys are just playing leather until the time when THEY THEMSELVES understand the significance behind what they gave and the time to grow, and by time I don’t mean several months..

They will come into their own but that takes time and mentoring..

Then the WORST of them all. The OLDER ones who can pull off the Daddy look but they know NOTHING about being a Daddy, a SIR or a MASTER. All they do is wear the clothes and spout bullshit. These guys are usually found out rather quickly and exposed for being the phonies they are; usually after they have gone through a number of boys collaring them then throwing them out and finding a new victim. these guy will collar boys every few months, use them, dump them then move on to the next one..and they get away with it for awhile but the community comes to find out about him and usually hes not well liked to begin with. They do the most damage telling the boy hes useless and worthless. Truth being it is the DADDY who is useless and worthless. Why would you EVER say that to ANY boy who has served you? Because you’re an ass-wipe.

In the end it all comes out in the wash… ALL!



Talking with Gem, the Jewel Dog

After reconnecting with the three dogs I had a week to remember so many thing I had forgotten.

I had my chance to reconnect specifically with the dogboy who’s name I couldn’t EVER remember. Gem was the Jewel of the pack.  He was different; regal, majestic; sitting upright like the king of the dogs while the other two wrestled and screwed around on the floor. I think as much as SIR enjoyed Tuffe and Ruffe he always had special feelings for Gem, which he why he gave him such a different type of name.

Gem is about 62 now.  His history and evolution into the mandog he now is would be way too long to go into.  Its VERY rich and diversified so he doesn’t just know only one road.  His roads are many. This is where I come from. This is how I learned; not from one road but from the experiences of men who had lived in many places experiencing  many different trains of thought and ways in the leather lifestyle. He has lived in Chicago,  San Francisco, NYC,  to name a few so hes VERY well rounded within that community long gone.  Although I only lived in NYC during my formative years in leather, I have the knowledge and heard the experiences of  those who lived in many places; not only of Gem’s but of the other dogs and the 4 boys who were much more experienced. My mission for the remainder of my time here is to get THAT information out to anyone who wishes to hear it FREE OF CHARGE.

I was on the phone with Gem for about an hour or so and I will be seeing him at some point within the month. I will be talking about the experiences of these men as time goes on. The yenta that I am, I am trying to get the dogs to be in SIRS service again…Wouldn’t THAT be so FREAKIN cool?  Before any of you ask, no they cannot EVER be MY dogs. As much as now that would easily be seen as normal, there was a structure  and protocol then that would prohibit me from EVER doing that. I think that’s the HUGE difference between then and now. Men get collared in hours;  boys can yell at SIRS,  everyone can fuck with everyone and change their minds at the drop of a hat getting whatever it is they need on a whim rather than without ANY thought; and although I may be stuck in that bygone period, I wont forsake the things I learned from men who I adored and still do. I prefer being alone than being a phony to who I am and where I am from. I will give up the lifestyle altogether rather than becoming what I see as leather out there today.

My talk with Gem confirmed that who I am AS I AM is right for me. Gem is such a sweetheart.  I know you are reading this Gem but you know I think the world of you. there isn’t a dog out there that I know who could ever come close to who you were let alone who you are now.  I tip my cap to you. In my book you are the Alpha of all of them. In Admiration of and to you. Sunshine.