I have been hearing a lot about collaring lately. We have the following for your amusement and enjoyment:

1. Engagement collar    (I don’t know what the hell this is or means!!)

2. Collar of Intention     (Intention for a REAL collar so you put on a fake one?)

3. Collar of Protection   (Protection from who or what, the boogie man?)

4. Training Collar           (You need a collar to be trained? What are you, a seal?)

5 Weekend Collar          (A weekend collar to make you feel better about not REALLY being wanted for more than 2 days?)

6. Permanent Collar      (Ah Yes, the EARNED collar! Finally one that makes sense!)


I don’t believe from the stories I have been told (in NYC),during the time before me, that the gay soldiers who came home from WW2 and formed their motorcycle/leather groups had SIX different stages of collars. IF you can tell me that these existed then please cite your source..because I can cite mine!

When a biker/leatherguy who tended to be more dominant wanted someone as his, he threw a collar around his buds neck with his buddies watching on and sometimes he just did it on his own. P E R I O D! By the time I came along it was more of a significant occasion where the friends got together and a small private ( I wont use the word ceremony) event happened. There was only one collar, the permanent (#6) one, the meaningful one making me his boy. No weekend (#5) was given to me because I was wanted for more than 2 days. Training ( #4) was done all along, not for a specified period of time and I was with him so no protection (3) was needed and he made his intentions (#2) clear to me and again WTF is the engagement (#1) collar?

This brings us to TODAY…and ALL i can say is WTF is THIS all about? Do you move from collar to collar or do you eventually wear all six because they were given TO you?

You want to make up all this shit because you *think* this is what the history was and you want to make the boy think you are a wealth of historical knowledge on the subject…SURPRISE…YOU’RE NOT!! These “collars” for whatever intent and purpose were fabricated off the cuff like the collars today are off the rack. Do I know EVERYTHING? NO and I NEVER claimed to and I NEVER WILL KNOW EVERYTHING, but after almost 40 years in this lifestyle, I have NEVER ever heard of these names other than to impress the boy who knows little to NOTHING!

The majority of guys don’t even know what the permanent collar signifies so they give them out like souvenirs. You want a souvenir, go to the Empire State Building and BUY ONE!! I remember one year at MAL this guy, who already had a boyfriend came in with and I kid you not, 10 collars calling them weekend collars for the boys he thought were hot. He proceeded to tell me that these jerks will believe anything if you get dressed up in leather drag..He was right. It worked and he gave out the majority of these 10 collars that he bought…I am sure that whenever I saw him trying to put one on a guy after 10 minutes that I got to the boy and gave him a quick lesson in what a collar means..He ended up shoving those collars up his ass because I wouldn’t let him use those young guys who knew no better. I see this all the time. HOWEVER you get these smooth talking guys who look the part of Daddy but who don’t know jack shit about anything and can sell an Eskimo snow and the boy is SO enamored with a guy he really doesn’t know that he ends up blindly believing the crap that comes out of the “daddy’s” mouth. Then you get the young “Dom” ones (I don’t refer to a 25 yr old as a SIR and DEFINITELY not a Master) who dates young guys who know nothing and again they throw collars around like they’re playing horse shoes. This alone tells you that these guys are just playing leather until the time when THEY THEMSELVES understand the significance behind what they gave and the time to grow, and by time I don’t mean several months..

They will come into their own but that takes time and mentoring..

Then the WORST of them all. The OLDER ones who can pull off the Daddy look but they know NOTHING about being a Daddy, a SIR or a MASTER. All they do is wear the clothes and spout bullshit. These guys are usually found out rather quickly and exposed for being the phonies they are; usually after they have gone through a number of boys collaring them then throwing them out and finding a new victim. these guy will collar boys every few months, use them, dump them then move on to the next one..and they get away with it for awhile but the community comes to find out about him and usually hes not well liked to begin with. They do the most damage telling the boy hes useless and worthless. Truth being it is the DADDY who is useless and worthless. Why would you EVER say that to ANY boy who has served you? Because you’re an ass-wipe.

In the end it all comes out in the wash… ALL!




This past weekend I was in Tampa again for their Eagle’s FIRST Anniversary bash. The drive up and back is always a pleasant ride. Theres never much traffic when I get in the car to go and for 15 bucks I take a trip up and I ALWAYS have a GREAT time.

I went over Daddy Eric Siglin’s home and I had a wonderful dinner with about a dozen or so men; some in leather some not. Even though the only person I knew Was Eric I felt that everyone welcomed me. Eric made sure to let everyone know I was part of Mama Sandy’s Leather family. It felt good to belong.. I am still amazed how many have never heard of her or the work she has done. I am always watching my weight. I prefer to watch it then have others watch it for me and tell me about my expanding waist so I keep myself disciplined and in check. The reason I mention this is because there was so much food that I liked and would have demolished  but refrained from doing so. I ran int one of the guys I knew from 3 yrs ago. I went to open the door since I was closest and there was Tony..FREAKIN WOOF. I was all over him like hair attached to my chest. We got to spend some good time together reconnecting at Eric’s. I am planning to go see him one day soon. We ended up staying there watching videos on his HUGE TV till almost 11PM.

The hotel I stayed in with the Leather wolf dog was by far one of the best hotels I have ever been in. The Hilton Gardens Hotel in Ybor City was a class act from beginning to end. I give it a perfect score on all fronts.

On Saturday afternoon we walked on the main drag in Ybor and it was dead. It looked like an evacuation and someone forgot to tell me.  We spoke to one of the women in a pizzeria and she told us between the economy bad weather both in Florida and up north, that the stores were dead. Many had left or relocated because the landlords wouldn’t lower their rent to reflect the tough times. I would rather get some rent than nothing. So many greedy individuals end up shooting themselves in the foot to keep their property empty rather than rent it out and get something for it each month. It took me awhile to get used to the place looking like a ghost town on a Saturday afternoon when the last time I was there the place was packed.

But I digress… after dinner at Eric’s we came back to the hotel and changed, walking out into the night to the Eagle for the evening festivities. Those guys up there know how to make you feel welcome. Without going into detail lets just say that Daddy had a great time with several, ok ok,  4 guys. The leather store that just opened up inside the bar hosted a very friendly guy who owned the shop and he was very helpful. Anyone up there needs to check it out. The guys who went there were very friendly and accommodating to me. The place was fairly crowded and it was nice to see leather everywhere. I can understand why bar owners don’t restrict the crowd to leather only. They would lose a ton of business, AND MONEY, so as an offering they designate a SMALL space to the leather crowd with the majority of the bar left for everyone else. Here’s what I DON’T get. Even though these one a month evenings get packed, they REFUSE to expand the space, like maybe they should let the ENTIRE bar go leather only just for one night a month? When you have been in the SAME space for MANY years you can afford to do that but there are those that no matter how much they get they want more..its NEVER enough. I am however happy, for the crumbs we are fed. It’s better than nothing. To say that things have changed is an understatement. I often wonder how did leather, which by its very nature was rebellious and tribal, come to mean or be politically correct? I hate going off on tangents but I love leather and the lifestyle so much that its very upsetting to me to witness what it was and what it now is.

We left on Sunday morning beating out the bad weather which was headed toward the Tampa area to return to a partly sunny and FINALLY very warm Wilton Manors. I keep accumulating memories of the community I love with incredible men. Matt, Wolfy, Lincoln, Todd, Eric, Tony and several others all conspired to give me more of who I am and what I need…Thanks men. You are my family.