Grinding My Gears

I got this phrase from Peter Griffin, Family Guy episode. To change that to what I am writing about…There are people in the Leather Community who are older than I am and who feel they are the Leather Police of the entire country. They go around asking about EVERYONE and then go on line to look for them to see if they are located on Police Records, sex offender records and other public records. If they find anything on you they take it upon themselves to OUT YOU to everyone in the name of making them fess up and be honest. What they are actually doing, and seem to take GREAT pleasure in, is causing a lot of trouble for those who have indeed been in trouble. They take great pleasure in doing this. Vindictive bitter people I say who have nothing else left in their lives. They lost their looks, their hair is gray and they are trying to keep whats left of their self importance and their stature in the leather community by trashing others. As they say, MISERY LOVES COMPANY!!

I have personally overheard one of the “leather police” saying… you know so and so? I’ve never heard of him/her. Well just because you didn’t hear of this person doesn’t mean they weren’t around. You know EVERYONE in the entire United States? REALLY? Well I went to such and such bar, club, leather event and “I” never saw them there! So I guess because they weren’t there the night that YOU were MUST mean they’re phonies. What kind of bullshit is that? THEN they get insulted when you tell them that you DO know so and so and YOU saw them at such and such place..Well THAT doesn’t mean ANYTHING to them because THHEEEEYYYY didn’t see them there!!

WHO THE HELL made YOU the overseer of the entire leather community in the ENTIRE 50 States? Get over yourselves. You’re not young anymore; you’ve been replaced; people don’t like being around you because you’re always so negative, miserable and bitter so please just go to your own table and be miserable on your own, thank you..

Next. There’s No such thing as the Council of Elders who oversaw everything that went on in the Leather community..Plain and simple that’s all BULLSHIT. Moving on…

Old Guard Leather is a misnomer..IT was Leather..They were gay leather bikers/ex-soldiers kinky men who got together and formed bonds and alliances…..There’s nothing mystical or magical. there are those who romanticize it…Well thats sweet but not accurate..I am sure some of these men fell in love with each other and I’m sure that there was romance to some degree but I cannot speak for everyone; actually anyone,  but what I saw and experienced. Again, and this is MY opinion…I think the tradition and protocol was borne out of the structure and discipline of the military for these ex gay leather biker soldiers…it was however different to some degree for them…I wasn’t there (am not that old) but from what was told to me…those guys were about sex and kink…The one thing and the ONLY thing I am sure about is that if you were TRULY a part of them, YOU WERE PROTECTED. They were loyal to each other ..They could get into fistfights amongst themselves but if someone attacked one of their own…look out!

When I speak, I NEVER speak for EVERYONE. I don’t speak for ANYONE but what I saw, experienced and the stories I heard, and trust me, I NEVER romanticize it. I don’t know everything and I am sure it was different from what I was told, in various parts of the country. I’m not the leather police or an authority.

I get VERY annoyed when the older ones attack the younger guys coming into kink and leather. Rather than poke fun of them try taking one under your guidance to teach them what you know from YOUR perspective. Remember its YOUR take on it NOT the gospel truth according to so and so. You put out the info and let them take from it what they want. I also get very annoyed when the young guys cop an attitude when thy know nothing about anything then take on a boy, throw collars around then do a GREAT deal of damage to other young guys who believe and hang on every word they say. THIS is a BIG problem! I want to speak to those young 20 something boys..Just because the guy is young and hot doesn’t mean he knows ANYTHING. Try going to the older guy WITH experience for mentoring. REMEMBER THIS… EXPERIENCE TRUMPS YOUTH EVERY TIME. To the older guy..DON’T use the kid sexually to make yourself feel better because you’re getting older and graying, and you want a trophy to show off……Give the boy your best and you’ll gain a boy for the rest of your LIFE even if he never serves you sexually!


Talkin’ bout my Generation

For those who don’t know, That’s a song by Roger Daltry of the WHO. I’m going to talk about a HUGE pet peeve of mine..the younger leathermen who snicker, poke fun and make NASTY comments to those of the older guys who came before them. I want to start out by saying that if it weren’t for the older guys you make fun of, you jackasses wouldn’t have the freedom you do to act like a bunch of young spoiled bastards. There, now that I got that of my chest I will go into more specifics.

I  have been to MANY events and I specifically find this nasty catty talk at the bigger events. The smaller events have a down home feel and the older guys are looked up to by the younger guys for their experience and wisdom. The larger events which draw the young hot twinks who wear leather couture ONCE a year are the nastiest pieces of shit I have ever encountered. Another reason why I don’t attend big events.

All these young guys in their leather, looking hot, with no gray hair or wrinkles who are stared at, desired and everyone is falling all over themselves to get AT them. They get away with calling themselves boy, SIR, MASTER of the Universe, Lord Prince Dom or whatever the hell they choose to call themselves. There was a 22 year old MASTER DADDY who got away with it because he was jacked up on steroids and the leather looked good on him. Reality check fellas. They don’t know their ASS from their ELBOW and they don’t know what to do with either! The wrapping may look good on the outside but when you open the package its EMPTY…or better yet its full of shit like they are.

Is EVERY single young guy in leather like that? OF COURSE NOT. There’s always exceptions. HOWEVER they ARE the exceptions. The young ones will pass up the guy with gray hair to go screw around with some other young thang who offers NOTHING but his youth. That’s pathetic. When they finally decide to try out someone past 40, they all seem so amazed on what they learned..Well MAY BE if you weren’t such a narrow minded jackass, you wouldn’t have wasted your time getting off with someone who knows little to nothing and getting nothing more than losing some protein.

Then lets go to Facebook. That’s another trip and a half. There are guys on those pages with decades of experience and yes they aren’t nearly as hot as the young ones..GUESS who gets all the attention? JUST GUESS? I know a guy who I will call Billy. (not his real name). Hes in the leather community and in his 20’s. He gets 50 to 60 friend requests PER DAY AND they call him SIR or Daddy and has over 3000 followers. Yes that’s right, THREE THOUSAND. Do you know how many the older guys have? 2 to 3 hundred.  WTF? The guys who have EARNED that title and could REALLY be of service and assistance don’t even get a notice. This runs across the gamete of ALL ages. They will agree with ANYTHING he says or does and I mean ANYTHING. WHY? He’s young and hot..and REALLY knows nothing. He loves the attention and goes with it. I’m not even going to go into whats wrong with this entire thing. It should be obvious and if its not then its not worth my time explaining it. They don’t even ASK the older guys for information or mentoring. They go after the young ones because they think they will get a piece of ass out of the deal so they will say whatever they need to…WHATEVER THEY NEED TO.

I have on NUMEROUS occasions, overheard these arrogant kids criticize and make fun of older leather men, some of them my family and if you know me, you KNOW that you DON’T mess with my family!!!!  I will turn to them and tell them that yes hes older but what makes you think he would even bother with you? Because you’re young and you think you’re so hot in your leather costume? I then tell them that many older leathermen don’t do children because guys like you have NOT a FU$KING thing to offer them.

In thinking about this, another BIG chain link that’s broken. There is no respect for history and for those that forged a path..

Life and its curve balls.

Life has been interesting…Its taken me several days to write about what I am about to post. I had to get rid of the sadness and disappointment before I could write about this in a factual unemotional way so I don’t rant because that serves no purpose when its purely emotional. Onto my post. I was forced to leave the contest I was preparing 6 months for. I felt my integrity would be compromised and I could not in good and fair conscience move forward. I received a phone call from someone who was in charge of things and insinuated that I was getting a great prize package and being sent to several places to represent the title. I hadn’t won so why was I being told this? I was then told that there were 3 judges at IML that were from the Conference WHEN I won and went on to IML…again, it truly upset me. I struggled for almost 2 weeks with this information. This past week was the straw that broke the camels back. Another contestant, who I was told would NOT be running for another separate title was being allowed to run for THAT title, AND then run for this title that I was running for, 3 weeks later WHILE being a producer for several OTHER contests and events. HOW can a producer for several OTHER contests run for a title while promoting HIS own contests at THIS event? Talk about sleeping with your brother? The whole thing smelled and upon speaking to a title holder who has won several titles and who gave me her support, and that of my boy who was also a title holder, I made the decision to drop out. When I wrote my letter to someone else in charge, I was told and I quote, ” I am not making excuses for what so and so said BUT….right there, you ARE making excuses for him. I NEVER got an apology for the actions of this person who called me up and I knew then that I had made the right decision. I will run for something but THIS time I will check out EVERYTHING before I give my GOOD name to ANY event in the leather community. It is disgusting that things have gotten to this point with contests but if that’s the way it is, I have to adjust or NEVER decide to run again…I have a voice, I have the ability to give and to work for my community and the where with all to make change…and one way or another I will accomplish that. I am a FIRM believer in the Power Of One.

On to another note. My boy moved in with me Jan 21 and I got to spend my birthday with him on the 24th. I am tearing my home down due to termite infestation and the fact that my house is old and I want to update it to new hurricane codes. The next several months will be indeed interesting…but I guess if I can go through what I just did, knocking a house down will be easy. At least with that I will see the benefit. With what I just did I feel like crap even though I know in my heart I did what I felt was right and I don’t think a damn thing will be done about it… Sigh. Am not sure anymore about this community. It’s certainly not mine because this isn’t what I was taught the leather community to be. Isn’t it better to have one GOOD contestant than a bunch of bodies just to say there are a lot of contestants and to look good to the audience? You answer that!


Talking with Gem, the Jewel Dog

After reconnecting with the three dogs I had a week to remember so many thing I had forgotten.

I had my chance to reconnect specifically with the dogboy who’s name I couldn’t EVER remember. Gem was the Jewel of the pack.  He was different; regal, majestic; sitting upright like the king of the dogs while the other two wrestled and screwed around on the floor. I think as much as SIR enjoyed Tuffe and Ruffe he always had special feelings for Gem, which he why he gave him such a different type of name.

Gem is about 62 now.  His history and evolution into the mandog he now is would be way too long to go into.  Its VERY rich and diversified so he doesn’t just know only one road.  His roads are many. This is where I come from. This is how I learned; not from one road but from the experiences of men who had lived in many places experiencing  many different trains of thought and ways in the leather lifestyle. He has lived in Chicago,  San Francisco, NYC,  to name a few so hes VERY well rounded within that community long gone.  Although I only lived in NYC during my formative years in leather, I have the knowledge and heard the experiences of  those who lived in many places; not only of Gem’s but of the other dogs and the 4 boys who were much more experienced. My mission for the remainder of my time here is to get THAT information out to anyone who wishes to hear it FREE OF CHARGE.

I was on the phone with Gem for about an hour or so and I will be seeing him at some point within the month. I will be talking about the experiences of these men as time goes on. The yenta that I am, I am trying to get the dogs to be in SIRS service again…Wouldn’t THAT be so FREAKIN cool?  Before any of you ask, no they cannot EVER be MY dogs. As much as now that would easily be seen as normal, there was a structure  and protocol then that would prohibit me from EVER doing that. I think that’s the HUGE difference between then and now. Men get collared in hours;  boys can yell at SIRS,  everyone can fuck with everyone and change their minds at the drop of a hat getting whatever it is they need on a whim rather than without ANY thought; and although I may be stuck in that bygone period, I wont forsake the things I learned from men who I adored and still do. I prefer being alone than being a phony to who I am and where I am from. I will give up the lifestyle altogether rather than becoming what I see as leather out there today.

My talk with Gem confirmed that who I am AS I AM is right for me. Gem is such a sweetheart.  I know you are reading this Gem but you know I think the world of you. there isn’t a dog out there that I know who could ever come close to who you were let alone who you are now.  I tip my cap to you. In my book you are the Alpha of all of them. In Admiration of and to you. Sunshine.

New Decade New Beginnings

Welcome to my blog.  I am in St. Petersburg, Florida this weekend for the Tampa Leather Club’s Leather SIR/boy contest which will be taking place in a little over 2 hours. My Leather wolfdog, Spike, gave me the idea to start an interactive weblog. The reason that I decided to begin this new adventure is my personal feeling that there are so many out there who throw around the words “Old Guard” without any of them ever being IN that lifestyle, or from stories they have heard from others who weren’t there either.  There was NO Old Guard.

IT was leather. PERIOD.

The term emerged as that first wave of men were dying of AIDS VERY quickly. At First it was called the Saint Disease (taken from the mega disco in NYC) since everyone who got sick and died went there (including myself, though I remain HIV-). Then the name changed to Gay Related Immune Deficiency (GRID) and then to AIDS/HIV. This was the dividing line between what is now known as New Guard (or No Guard, from all I hear out there), and what was.

There seems to be miscommunication, misinformation and downright lies about what it was and wasn’t. Principles have been slanted to reflect personal points of view rather than the realities of what it was. As much as the families had different rules and protocols, there was much that we shared in common. The differences were not stark in comparison to today, where guys make up their own names and labels then claim it was Old Guard or similar to it.

I want this to be an interactive blog. I want it to be about your questions and comments — your ideas and your input.  I can only give you my insights and perceptions as to what I have seen and experienced AS a leather boy in NYC in the 70s and 80s. I don’t qualify myself as an expert: just as an observer who WAS there and lived it on a day-to-day basis. I want to add a ton of content, videos and comments, and share this as far as I can reach so that I can affect those coming into this, those who are curious about it and those who are already involved and wish to know more.


Here I am getting ready to watch the Leather SIR/boy contest in about 45 minutes. I had been asked numerous times over the past few days why I wasn’t running, from others who just assumed that I was. I feel that in 5 years no one will remember who I am, what year I won or what title it was, and it would take too much energy to keep myself in the public spotlight just to be remembered. I feel I can do much more that’s worthwhile for the community I love by exactly what I am doing right now…Not exactly because I want you to remember ME for ME’s sake but because I want to leave you with knowledge about where I come from and who I am..and most importantly, who YOU are.