TELL IT

I posted this on Facebook and I had such a large response that I felt it necessary to place it here for the ENTIRE internet to see.

 

I often write posts on HIV and safer sex. When HIV began I was in my late 20’s and I was terrified. I stopped having sex when I saw how those men were dying horrific deaths. The media also put out the alarm and showed awful photos of men nearing the end weighing 60 pounds. Those images still haunt me today. I have to say something here. BEFORE HIV began, I did things, and in looking back, are considered reckless now; i.e; hustling (escorting) and porn movies. I LOVED all the attention and sex and I was a damn PIG, PERIOD!! I had a Fraking BLAST. It was one BIG party and I was a STAR!! Point being, I NEVER EVER had safer sex. There was no need to. If I was 22 or 23 years old now and I **DIDN’T** see what I did, I’m not so sure what I would do. YES, I am NOT sure I would always be safer. Does it make me a hypocrite, you tell me! For **ME**, safer sex is easy **BECAUSE** of what I saw and continue to see. However, Guys are going to do what they want to do and if you didn’t see what I did you have no history of how traumatic it was. I suffer from PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) because of the war I was in. I give the info and leave the rest up to you WITHOUT judgement. I will CONTINUE to bring you info as best I can but I wont run from you or make ANY judgements if you get infected with HIV or ANYTHING else. YOU can count on me to care about you with integrity and dignity, to help direct you to treatment and to listen to you if you need to talk. NO ONE should have to give up sex out of fear…be it 1985 or 2013; whether you are 25 or 75 and NO ONE should have to deal with stigma…OF ANY KIND for ANY reason!