I have been hearing a lot about collaring lately. We have the following for your amusement and enjoyment:
1. Engagement collar (I don’t know what the hell this is or means!!)
2. Collar of Intention (Intention for a REAL collar so you put on a fake one?)
3. Collar of Protection (Protection from who or what, the boogie man?)
4. Training Collar (You need a collar to be trained? What are you, a seal?)
5 Weekend Collar (A weekend collar to make you feel better about not REALLY being wanted for more than 2 days?)
6. Permanent Collar (Ah Yes, the EARNED collar! Finally one that makes sense!)
I don’t believe from the stories I have been told (in NYC),during the time before me, that the gay soldiers who came home from WW2 and formed their motorcycle/leather groups had SIX different stages of collars. IF you can tell me that these existed then please cite your source..because I can cite mine!
When a biker/leatherguy who tended to be more dominant wanted someone as his, he threw a collar around his buds neck with his buddies watching on and sometimes he just did it on his own. P E R I O D! By the time I came along it was more of a significant occasion where the friends got together and a small private ( I wont use the word ceremony) event happened. There was only one collar, the permanent (#6) one, the meaningful one making me his boy. No weekend (#5) was given to me because I was wanted for more than 2 days. Training ( #4) was done all along, not for a specified period of time and I was with him so no protection (3) was needed and he made his intentions (#2) clear to me and again WTF is the engagement (#1) collar?
This brings us to TODAY…and ALL i can say is WTF is THIS all about? Do you move from collar to collar or do you eventually wear all six because they were given TO you?
You want to make up all this shit because you *think* this is what the history was and you want to make the boy think you are a wealth of historical knowledge on the subject…SURPRISE…YOU’RE NOT!! These “collars” for whatever intent and purpose were fabricated off the cuff like the collars today are off the rack. Do I know EVERYTHING? NO and I NEVER claimed to and I NEVER WILL KNOW EVERYTHING, but after almost 40 years in this lifestyle, I have NEVER ever heard of these names other than to impress the boy who knows little to NOTHING!
The majority of guys don’t even know what the permanent collar signifies so they give them out like souvenirs. You want a souvenir, go to the Empire State Building and BUY ONE!! I remember one year at MAL this guy, who already had a boyfriend came in with and I kid you not, 10 collars calling them weekend collars for the boys he thought were hot. He proceeded to tell me that these jerks will believe anything if you get dressed up in leather drag..He was right. It worked and he gave out the majority of these 10 collars that he bought…I am sure that whenever I saw him trying to put one on a guy after 10 minutes that I got to the boy and gave him a quick lesson in what a collar means..He ended up shoving those collars up his ass because I wouldn’t let him use those young guys who knew no better. I see this all the time. HOWEVER you get these smooth talking guys who look the part of Daddy but who don’t know jack shit about anything and can sell an Eskimo snow and the boy is SO enamored with a guy he really doesn’t know that he ends up blindly believing the crap that comes out of the “daddy’s” mouth. Then you get the young “Dom” ones (I don’t refer to a 25 yr old as a SIR and DEFINITELY not a Master) who dates young guys who know nothing and again they throw collars around like they’re playing horse shoes. This alone tells you that these guys are just playing leather until the time when THEY THEMSELVES understand the significance behind what they gave and the time to grow, and by time I don’t mean several months..
They will come into their own but that takes time and mentoring..
Then the WORST of them all. The OLDER ones who can pull off the Daddy look but they know NOTHING about being a Daddy, a SIR or a MASTER. All they do is wear the clothes and spout bullshit. These guys are usually found out rather quickly and exposed for being the phonies they are; usually after they have gone through a number of boys collaring them then throwing them out and finding a new victim. these guy will collar boys every few months, use them, dump them then move on to the next one..and they get away with it for awhile but the community comes to find out about him and usually hes not well liked to begin with. They do the most damage telling the boy hes useless and worthless. Truth being it is the DADDY who is useless and worthless. Why would you EVER say that to ANY boy who has served you? Because you’re an ass-wipe.
In the end it all comes out in the wash… ALL!
SIR, I guess I come from a not so different era then YOURSELF. i was given a collar to use when play with the man that would become my Leather Dad, HIS custom made collar sat on the dresser and over time i earned that collar. It wasn’t just given to me. It meant the world to me to wear HIS collar. When HE would put it on me and I heard the sound of the lock I knew I truly surrendered to HIM and felt safe and loved for the first time in my years of identifying myself as a gay man. When HE took me to an event on a lead with HIS collar not only was I proud to be in tow, but I knew HE was proud to have me as HIS boy. A gift I will never forget. Almost 30 years ago.
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